You can't really blame FSIP. They are only following orders from Curtis. They are the only Curtis authorized controller repair facility, and they are not allowed to deviate from the rules. You were lucky to get a 3301 out of them actually, as most people only qualify for a 1101, or a 2201 for a service shop. You will be unable to find anything higher than a 4401, even from a chinese seller, but at least a 4401 will allow you to set most of the parameters that you are wanting to access.
I had been using 5501 programmers for 10 years before I upgraded to 5502 programmers a bit over 5 years ago. These were not handsets, they were programming stations supplied to my business on lease from Curtis. My contracts and NDA with Curtis expired in December of last year, so prior to that I bought my own 4402 programming station. After my contracts and NDA expired, I upgraded it myself to a 5502 and then a 6602 more recently.
As for doing a software update to your FSIP handset, I don't know if they use the same software as the Curtis handset. It may just be a Curtis handset with a FSIP label on it, who knows. As far as I have been able to determine, there are no higher level access softwares available for the handsets, beyond the 4401 OEM level. They were primarily intended for diagnostics and some minor parameter updates.
If you are serious about wanting to do more, I suggest you read the following thread...
http://www.buggiesgonewild.com/elect...ontroller.html
There is information there that can help you to set up your own Curtis programming station. It is a long thread, and there is a lot of good information to bring you up to speed on how the various protocols work. The best information comes in near the end of course.
Bob